Red Rover, Red Rover . . . . . Wait, why won't anyone ask me to come over?

Most of my life I have been picked on and picked last, which is a surprising revelation to some.  I did not really have the right athletic skills, the right friends, the right body type, the right clothes, the right look, or the right anything that would have made me a social and athletic success while I was still in school.  This made me extremely self conscious and drew me in to myself; I was not a social pariah by any means or the lone island at the lunch table, but when it came to athletic/social endeavors I was often left for the last pick and when things were uneven, people were arguing over which team to pawn me off on.  I would not go so far to say that I was bullied, I just spent most of my Friday nights at home studying or watching television, not at the football games.  When I finally did play sports, swimming, soccer, and track, I was not the kid whose name coaches remembered, but rather I was a "slow lane" standout who never really placed or qualified for anything significant, I just attended practice and smiled, although I so badly wanted to make a state meet team.  I had more conversations with teachers rather than other students while I was in high school, and enjoyed their company better than the company of people my own age, because I knew I would not be made fun of in the midst of the discussion.  When I wanted to run college cross country and I was emailing teams, no one even bothered to reply to the inquiries I sent them.  I would not say that I had haters, just that not many people believed in me, and I do not think that I even believed in myself.  I guess it is just as well that I was never asked to "come over" during any games of red rover during school, I probably would not have made it through anyways.  

Up until I hit 21, I spent life operating more from a place of fear than anything else.  Fear of being too fat, fear of no one liking me, fear of being made fun of, fear of rejection, and the fear of not being good at something before I even let myself try it.  That is the worst place that you can operate from because if you fear everything, you will never let yourself try anything, and the excitement and potential that is found in life will never be fully realized.  I fell into running because it gave me a chance to be alone, make it a solo effort, try my best, and it gave me a chance to be good at something without having to worry about anyone else.  No one could tell me that I could not do it because I was doing it, and no one had to pick me for a team, because I was my own team.  Through the racing experience, I learned to talk to people, because even though we were all there by ourselves, competing against our own worst fears and doubts, as a whole we were a community.  

About three or four years ago, I got a Groupon for an obstacle course race, Spartan Race, and I went and ran in the open field of contestants, and while I was not a podium finisher, my time earned my interest in racing as an elite.  I had a little bit of a confidence bump from feeling that I could run and have upper body strength and have both work to my advantage.  Obstacle course racing is very different from just running, although having the running ability certainly helps, most obstacles would be very difficult without significant upper body strength.  When it comes to eight foot walls, burpees, rope climbs, and rope traverses, just to name a few, the running helps you get there, and the upper body strength is what helps you complete the obstacle.  Operating from a place of gumption keeps you moving so that you complete the course and move from obstacle to obstacle with swiftness and strength.  I have experienced some highs and some lows, I have been happy with my race and I have been utterly disappointed in my performance.  No matter what, I always keep moving forward, and building on my success because resting on my laurels would not help me progress and continue to become better each day than I was the day before.  

About a week ago I ran the Merrell Down and Dirty Obstacle Course Race in my hometown of Atlanta, Georgia.  I have never raced with this particular brand of obstacle course race before so I was a little apprehensive as to what I should expect.  It is hard for some of the races to stand out at the Georgia International Horse Park because they all seem to run the same course in the same direction and it is all done the same way.  Everyone parked in the upper parking lots and no one paid for parking, at least in general parking.  The main festival area was in a completely different field than it normally was in and walking in from up on a hill you could see everything in front of you, the festival area, the start/finish line, the kids races, and festival viewable obstacles.  It was clear who the sponsors were and the charities were by where they were placed in the festival and there was even room to bring a tent of your own if you wanted to.  At the start line, there were mini waves built into the waves that started for each race distance.  The military wave started first, followed by the brick wave, followed by the faster people, and then so on till you got to the people who might want to take their time and have fun, who were placed a little further back.  The race starts and we head up a hill, run along a shoulder on an inner park road, and then head down a gravel road towards our first obstacle (and I cannot remember all the obstacles) the sand bag carry.  This obstacle was a hot mess.  People were stepping on top of each other to grab sand bags and put the sandbags down and the carry was too short.  I felt that this part of the race could have been organized better so that racers were not on top of each other when maneuvering in and out of that obstacle.

We ran again, for quite a while, went over a wall or two, until we reached the next major obstacle which was the climb up an inflatable slide and back down the other side.  I liked this but felt like it should have ended with a splash of some kind like muddy water or an ice bath.  We then headed into the woods and not too long after that the courses for the 5k and the 10k separated.  This is where the course was most hilly.  At this point in fact, with the combination of the heat and the hills my body got a little worked up, which was unusual for me, and halfway up a hill my breakfast decided to make a climb of its own and came right back out of my mouth.  This was simply annoying because it cost me at least a minute in time.  As we exited the woods and began looping through open fields runners faced some more obstacles, uneven balance beams, military walls, marine obstacles (like solid high jumps you throw your body over), a watery pool covered with a net, and the monster climb.  The monster climb, a huge tress of high obstacle cargo netting was one of the most exciting obstacles of the day.  Also, keep in mind that I may missed the description of an obstacle or two in that I may not have remembered where they were or even what I did so I am describing what I remember.  We crossed the road again and at this point were on the Olympic mountain biking course, the rocky portion.  This is always interesting because if shoes are already wet, it can make this portion of the course a virtual slip n' slide.  No one I saw went down, but everyone was really charging hard down this hill.  We went through some pop up tunnels and then went under the road in the creek tunnels and came out the other side to the main parking area for the majority of the trails at the Georgia International Horse Park.  There was a high ladder cargo net climb, and this was another area where the 10k and 5k split, the 10k took off into the woods and the 5k turned around and headed immediately for a mud pit.  In this area we encountered the monkey cross, which was interesting, and another obstacle without a name.  It involved climbing up metal pipe fittings on one side and then climbing down a ladder the other side.  Both obstacles were interesting and different, yet doable and not impossible.  Eventually the 10k course circled back around to where the 5k had split from us and we crawled through the same mud pit and continued on towards the finish.  Everyone, 5k and 10k alike, emerged from the woods to get to the rock wall.  I liked this obstacle because I felt like it provided multiple avenues for people to go up the same wall at once, not like some walls where only one person can go up at once.  If only I had kept my footing on the way down and not suffered a major face plant on the other side, resulting in a week of major bruising on my legs and many odd looks.

We entered the river for a water crossing, then came up a steep hill on the other side.  This put us out at the slippery mountain, which volunteers were handily soaping down for us.  This was a great obstacle with a vantage point for friends and family who had come to watch.  It did not seem incredibly difficult, I thought it could have at least been taller, but I liked it.  After getting all dirty, crawling up an obstacle covered in soap felt clean and refreshing.

After that we entered the final obstacle/finish line the mud pits.  The finish was completely surrounded in cheering people and it was really crowded and was a great way to end the race.  Overall, I felt like it was a runner's course that was beginner friendly.

The course itself, running wise, was one of the best I have run at the Georgia International Horse Park.  It was well marked and no one had to guess where they were going and while the obstacles were not incredibly difficult I felt like a niche was filled in obstacle course racing.  Most courses are difficult and the obstacles are very hard and everyone is friendly yet competitive, and I thought that the Merrell Down and Dirty Obstacle Course Race provided people with a confident option to wet their feet in this world of obstacle course racing.  The post race finish festival area was fantastic.  It was absolutely clear where the kids needed to be for their race.  There was an area for hosing off with high pressure hoses! Included was shampoo from Paul Mitchell that smelled fantastic and got a lot of the mud out of our wet strands.  In the changing tent, where the opening was blocked with a changing wall, there were tables and chairs so no one had to set their gear on the ground.  Once you went into the festival there were tons of cool sponsor tents and giveaways.  Subaru had the best freebies by far.  Eye black, USB plug ins for your car, hair ties, and water bottles were there for the taking.  There were pull up contests and an inflatable incline race contest to see who could rack up the most pullups and the fastest times.  My favorite part of the festival, besides the awards ceremony, was the Paul Mitchell tent.  There were $15 haircuts and a $5 braid bar and the money was donated to charity.

I thought this was genius because my messy post race hair was put in a cute revers french side braid that I wore for the rest of the day.  The medal ceremony was fun and went quickly, it did not drag on and take forever like most do.  Overall I was happy with my experience at the Merrell Down and Dirty Obstacle Course Race.  Even though I threw up and face planted off an obstacle, I still managed to place second in my age group.  I would recommend this race and I will be back next year to run again.

I do not even recognize that kid who was picked on and picked last anymore.  That kid with low self esteem and no confidence in herself who had trouble just finishing a 300 m hurdle race in high school.  I had trouble fitting in and I always operated from the place of fear that told me that I would never be good enough for anything.  Today I have had four podium finishes in separate obstacle course races and even though I am not the best out there, I have people who believe in me and more importantly I believe in myself, and I will keep building on that. I enjoy putting myself out there and trying new things and eventually who knows where I will be or how good I can be if I try?  I know that I am no longer lining up at the back of the pack because I have the confidence to line up in the front; I like it better because I have a lot of friends and family cheering me on.  Even though I stay hungry for success, I am satisfied with who I am and I have the gumption to keep trying harder each and every day, with each and every race, because I can be stronger each day than I was the day before.  I also do not think that I will ever be picked last again.

Please check out the Merrell Down and Dirty Obstacle Race at this website: http://www.downanddirtyobstaclerace.com/

Regular Person, Real Life Runner

Why do I run? It is a simple yet perfunctorily profound question that most likely could lead to my breaking through and ultimately dominating my own imaginable limits, hitting PRs and BQs, and making the lottery of Western States (my dream race).  The question still goes unanswered though, why do I run?

If you think about it, look at who you are as a person, and really think about it, there is not one answer that is classically defined as right or wrong, there may even be more than one, but once you hear it echoing in your head, you want to keep on asking it, "Why do I run?"

I draw upon inspiration from the story based on real life war hero Louis Zamperini.  I first heard of his great efforts of survival and strength in my monthly issue of Runner's World.  I look forward to seeing these glossy pages grace the inside of my mailbox every month so when I opened up the door and saw it sitting there I was excited.  I flipped through to a cover story I found particularly interesting that was about inspiring individuals that had made a difference in the world through their love of the sport; thereby, impacting the lives of others.  Mr. Zamperini's story caught my attention because at the time of the story's publication he, to me at least, did not seem to look like a runner.

 Once I read his insert and began doing some research about his experience I was wholly in shock and awe!  He went from a trouble making teen who could not speak English, to an Olympic athlete poised to break American barriers, to a soldier, to a prisoner of war, and finally he became a survivor and a living testament to will of the human soul.  I do not know of anyone who could not look at this story of epic resilience and not want to go out there and run with all your heart like he did.  This is a man who could have broken the four minute mark in the mile well before it was done, he had the talent, he had the drive, and he had the skill.  Which leads me to ask a question I would have loved to ask him in person, "Mr. Zamperini, why did you run?"  I feel like reading the biography based on his life could shed some light on the answer (though nothing could do quite as much justice as asking the man himself).  He ran to escape a past that was unbecoming of him, he ran because he was very good at it, he ran for the recognition, and he ran because he knew that he could push himself to be better each day than the previous day.  He was a man who knew that when he won, and when he put American milers on the map at the Berlin Olympics of 1936, it was because he put in the hard work, he gave it everything he had in him, and he achieved goals greater than he ever imagined when he started his running career.  How good does it feel at the end of the day to say to yourself that you gave it everything you had, your best effort? How good does it feel when all that endeavoring culminates in one gloriously epic showdown between you and your mind and your body and the devil on your shoulder telling you that it does not matter, this is just a game?

So, why do you run?  I was inspired to ask myself this question by a short speech famed Academy Award winning actor Matthew McConaughey made to the Texas Longhorns on the practice field one day.  Some of you may not like him or what he stands for, but you cannot argue with the words he is saying and that they are inspiring in helping you get down to the root question, "Why do I run?" You may run for a lot of reasons, but at the end of the day, the only person that it matters you run for is you.  Every year begins a new running season for me, simple as that, January rolls around and it is the start of another running season, a year's worth of races.  This year did not start off as successfully as I had hoped it would and I did not like that I did not do as well as I wanted to.  So as the year went and my results got better and I was more hopeful, things changed and the burnout came, right around the time the seasons change, it happens every year, and I hate it.  I have to drag myself to put on my running shoes and drag myself out the door.  To say that it is deflating is an understatement.  I have two races, two big races, the Marine Corps Marathon and Pinhoti 100, coming up and my dedication is seriously waning and making me question why I run and get out there everyday.  There are some days when it is inevitably terrible,horrible,no good, and very bad.  That for me was two weeks ago, in pursuit of a BQ (Boston Qualifier) and aiming to run 16 miles, I fell and nearly broke my ankle; that ankle still is not feeling right.  I wanted to give up my pursuit of the year's goals.  To me, that is heartbreaking, it hurts to think I cannot do what I want to do, because I have always believed that I could do anything.

I can endure that little bit of pain for a lifetime of greatness, but I did not know why I was still running.  I chalked it up to one bad day and kept going.  I have had a couple of good weeks now and even though I faltered, I know why I run.  Ultimately, I run for me, I run to stay sane, I run to stay healthy, I run because it helps me do my job, I run because it makes me smile, I run because it makes me feel fulfilled, I run to make myself proud (and to make my family proud), but ultimately, it matters most that I run for me.  Everyday I get out there and bust my butt, in the heat and the cold, sleep deprived and well rested, not only because I know I can, but because in each workout I see myself being better that day than the day before.  I am a regular person with irregular goals that I will achieve, I am a real life runner who is here to achieve her athletic dreams.  I can continue to get better everyday till I reach my goals.  I run for me, but I want to hear, why do you run?  Why do you like to do what you do?

"The only easy day was yesterday." - navy seals

"If I can take it, I can make it." -  Louis Zamperini