I was picked on, and picked last, #TRUSTYOURPOWER

It was a hot end of the summer day, a grueling one.  As I hobbled into the car and slammed the door shut, the sound of total emotional defeat washed over me and I slammed my fist against the window.  A brief wave of mildly salt less tears began to brim over my eyes and I threw my Camelbak into the floorboard.  Propping my elbow up on the open window I covered my face so no one could see.  I was so ticked off that today of all days, when i had just the right momentum, was the day that feeling like a failure became the way that people knew me.  The day of my first fifty miler and I had gone off course and missed the time cutoff.  It was just infuriating! I was resolutely disgusted with myself and moved to tears all at once.  The kind of frustrated that a football coach gets after losing an important game, and then his wife knows it is going to be a long ride of silence home, a bad run and a tough day all rolled into one.

It was almost time for the last pick of the NFL draft in 2012 and Derrick Coleman was watching with his mother from the comfort of their living room.  Every fiber of his being wanted to be that final name called because after every single obstacle he had ever overcome and every single challenge he had met and destroyed, he very well deserved it.  When the name was announced on the television, what was hope became crestfallen doubt and frustration.  He had put in all the effort in the world, on top of his undeniable talent, and will to rise above, and he belonged in the game of football.  Still, his name was not called in the NFL draft and he was disappointed.  Maybe coaches had a misconception about what he could do, but he was used to it, his hearing disability tended to create questions in the minds of those who did not know what he could do, but he knew, he knew what he could do.

The day had started off much like any other, you know.  An early as hell wake up call to do final gear check and get dressed and then on to the start line.  Of three waves I was in the third one to start, but still ready to give it a good go until we reached the point of sunrise.  I was running my first fifty miler, but second ultramarathon, and after some early success in ultra distances I was hopeful for a good finish here; however, that was not in the cards for that particular day.  The course itself was much more difficult than I expected and it was hot, too hot for my taste anyways.  I have always been able to deal with the heat, but it absolutely cripples my abilities to add any sort of speed to my run, making me feel weak and powerless.  Somewhere in between the 30 or so mile aid station and the 35 or so mile aid station, otherwise known as Tower Aid Station to those who have run the North Face Endurance Challenge Gore Tex 50 Mile in Georgia, I got so very, very lost.  Not just me, about ten other people and myself, just cruising along, happened to follow the wrong orange sign.  At one point we were on wide, easily managed trails and slowly the wheels turned, and we realized that something was just not right.  By the time I finally burst into the clearing, time was up and I had not made it.

That dejected feeling was horrible!  I had not finished where I always expected to finish.  I always expect to finish, I always see that in myself, but it does not always happen.  I hate to admit it, but as my own harshest critic, things definitely do not always go my way, and I fall short of where I know I can be.  Maybe it is fear, maybe it is physical unpreparedness, maybe it is mental unpreparedness, maybe it is just a little bit of everything, but there is always a lesson to be learned in defeat.  The weakness that you feel in that dark moment can propel some of the greatest successes in your career.  You may not win all the time, and every mile may not be your most brilliant; however, all the work that you put in, all the sweat, all the time, all the effort leads to something great.  As the Nike ad says, "There is no finish line."  All the practice leads to a race, the race gives you an experience, that experience leads you somewhere great, and that somewhere great keeps going and going and going, taking you to races and experiences far in the future.

Derrick Coleman was not going to let the called names in the draft keep him from his dream of getting into the NFL, no matter how it eventually happened.  One failure was not enough to keep him from a team, this roadblock was not the first he had encountered, nor would it be his last, and he stared it down like the enemy within and broke the barrier like no other.  In the words o Derrick himself, "You can always make something work if you really put your mind to it."  He had his mind set on NFL sights, and after dedicating more time and hard work to his mission, he made it onto the Seahawks practice squad.  His mother said, "You know this will not be easy for you," to which he responded, "Mom, when has it ever been easy?"  Eventually he worked his way to the starting lineup as full back, the first deaf full back in NFL offensive history, and his success is proof and inspiration that if at first you do not succeed, try again.  If you do not succeed that time, then just put your mind to it and keep trying, because you are never out of the fight.  There is no finish line that defines you because if you are constantly trying to challenge yourself and grow, there will always be new horizons to reach for.  

That race I failed to complete, the 2011 North Face Endurance Challenge Gore Tex 50 Mile Georgia, did not stop me from coming back in 2013.  I came back more determined than ever and I came back for a personal victory.  I was prepared to run with my heart, I had trained through the blood, sweat, tears, doubt, and fears, and I returned in 2013 for a second go of it.  The day started slow, but I was determined to show the trail who was boss.  Belief can change your world, and it changed mine that day.  I left it all out on the course and finished a long, hot humid day with a finish in 13:32:44 (chip time).  Every champion has a past, and every loser has a future, and in that day, in that moment, I was a champion.  One defeat could not stop me, no one race was going to define me and it would not tell me what I could and could not be.  Thomas Edison said, "If I find 10,000 ways something won't work, I haven't failed.  I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward."  It worked for me, it worked for Edison, and it worked for Derrick Coleman, and I encourage everyone to try it, KEEP MOVING FORWARD.

http://results.bazumedia.com/athlete/index/e/5470214

http://www.seahawks.com/

http://www.seahawks.com/team/roster/Derrick-Coleman/0d83f6ed-6b5c-4647-8a6c-8653bec2a21f

I do not own the videos or the pictures or anything, just got them off the internet.

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